Like Halloween, it’s a freak show when ladies find out how they have been the side chick for the entire duration of their relationship and like a game, for guys, it is to see who can score more with a lady or have her as a pet, on-call nurse or maid….etc.
It is a very pathetic situation to be a pet or on-call nurse or maid to a man who doesn’t even remember your name until he needs some booty or house clean up. It is also not a guy’s fault if the ladies don’t have standards. they cannot force standards on a lady, they respect it “if it is in place” and play on “if it is out of place”. So, ask yourself, are your STANDARDS in or out of place?
I will be sharing relationship details with solution to each stages, so read on see where applies to you and repair yourself as needed.
PET
There are two types of pets. There is the too young and the too stupid type.
TOO YOUNG: he obviously knows that you are too young, unexposed and he is enjoying the fact that he is the one opening your eyes to certain things and with you he is safe to always try new things because, he knows you do not have a clue of what he is doing and you consider him your teacher, he is your first in everything, your safe place…etc.
SOLUTION: the truth is you will never be the one if you do not go on and learn a lot about relationships, principles, standards, communication and sex. If you do not know your stake in all of this, you will continue to be his pet and he would still be master (and you know what a master does with his pet, he toys with it but leaves it at home or bring real people to join him while you still fetch).
TOO STUPID: Now this is the area where you are foolishly in love to the extent of not knowing what you are doing and you are not cautious or do not care about what he is doing. People in this category always say “so long I’m his number one I don’t care”. He doesn’t call, text or check on you and when he does call or text, It is to tell you that he is at home or if you are free to hang out and get high on drinks and then have sex later, or he calls/text just to keep you at arm’s length, where he can easily reach or apologies and you go rushing back into his arms …etc
SOLUTION: The basic truth is, you are his number zero, i.e you do not count. a guy would not care about a girl who doesn’t care. Either he makes passes on other girls like she is not jealous or his inability to put her feelings first or the fact that she makes excuses for his lack of interest, respect or attitude. You need to make him know that in the relationship you both have you have to be 99.9% committed and the 0.1% is in his mind. Don’t look the other way when he is wrong or does something to hurt you. If you don’t like the attitude he gives, voice it out. You are not keeping him by pretending to be okay with what he is doing. If he cheats on you you all the time, leave him, he would still continue to cheat on you and that is a fact. If he shouts at you all the time, a day would start where he would beat you all the time. why because you are too stupid in love. Get some standard and show him you have some and make him respect it.
ON-CALL NURSE:
Here, to him, you are nothing more than a booty call. When he is sick with arousal, it is your number he dials, because you give it to him hot N stylish every time. Most people in this area might have never gone on a real date with includes a real conversation that ends at the door with a peck on the cheek or a soft kiss on the lips. to them here everything is SEX SEX SEX…
SOLUTION: First of all CLOSE YOUR LEGS! Keep your booty to yourself, and get some standards. Let him know you respect your body and so must he. Read books, go on real dates, see how compatible you are together OUTSIDE the bedroom. Learn more about yourselves and see how he act with the abstinence style (which is my own favorite style).
MAID:
Here as the word says, you are his maid, nothing more than his house help. you think you know more or a lot about relationships, and you are outsmarting him and making him your man by trying to be the perfect woman. You come to cook for him, you stay the weekend, you clean his house spotless, you do his laundry and you warm a bath for him and you warm his bed and all he does is sit down on his couch, places his legs on the center table and watch football.
WOMAN take a took at yourself in the future, you would be one of those crazy unkempt women, who clean the constantly dirty house with a pig of a man sitting on the couch feeling cool and you would nag and nag about how things are not right and how frustrated you are and guess what, that would be his perfect excuse to cheat on you and leave you. i.e “she nags a lot, I’m tired of it”.
SOLUTION: It’s OK to know a lot about relationships, but your application of this information in your relationship, should be based on wisdom. Let him do his workload, you could assist a few times, but make him independent of you and when you help out he sees it as a big deal. Save your maid hood for your marriage and kids. Limit the way you visit and don’t be too quick to correct everything and make it perfect. The reason for courtship is to know how much weight you both can carry individually and mesh it up to make a good balance.
Now my final solution is to have healthy self-esteem. Work on yourself, be the best version of yourself. And know that you deserve a healthy relationship, a good man who loves you and cares for you, a man who doesn’t take you for granted because you do not take yourself for granted. A man who has a vision you can key into and a mission you can run with.
I hope I have been able to help you all. Thank you and leave your comments, support or addition to the posts below. much love.